Posted in Entries, MEMORIES

A brand New Journey | My new life as a Nursing Student.

My first semester in ILKKM Sandakan has ended. Now, I’m on a one month End Semester holiday. Yayy! Finally have some time to rest!




Lots and lots of things happened. New friends, new enemies and lots of new experience. I don’t even know how to start. 😡

First. New friends.

So when I entered the first semester, I knew that one girl from my hometown also got into the college, but I kinda like, know about her already, and yeah, to be honest, I don’t like her. But, LIFE probably really hate me,right, cause that girl suddenly clings on with me all the fking time!

-sigh- I have no other choice but to be friend with her. -,-

Honestly, being with that girl is really just downright DEPRESSING! I FEEL LIKE I DON’T EVEN HAVE ANY FRIEND! There were so many things I just don’t like about her until one day, I just left her like that. I just act cold towards her, and went to hang out with new bunch of girls who just appreciate and actually cared about me and that girl, is the number one person I hate in that college cause she’s just full of trouble.

So, that is how I met my SUKU-SUKU Gang. πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’• I love those girls so much.

Rine, Eqa, Titi, Alloy and Cell.

To be honest, this is the first time I have this many girl-friends who really just-gets me. They really appreciate friendship, they take care of each other and just loving each other unconditionally. I feel so lucky to know them and to be a part of this friendship.




New killer subjects. πŸ“–πŸ”«

I have no problems with science and stuff cause I have been studying that shit for my entire life, the funny thing for me is, the subject that requires lots of reading and understanding. Especially the Behavioral Science and Nursing Science. HAHAHAHA.

Yeah, I feel like I’m kinda weak in that area, but THANK GOD, I still passed the exams.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Next, UNIFORMS!πŸ’•πŸ’• Who doesn’t love the Nurse Uniform right?! The first day wearing it, dayum, I feel so damn happy, but after a while, I just feel like, Meh.πŸ˜‚

Next, First experience for Practical in the hospital ward.

So my first ever ward is, the Male Surgical Ward in Hospital Dutchess of Kent Sandakan. The first day was basically plain awkward. But, the seniors helped a lot, taught me thing or two and stuff in the ward. Things to do, things not to do. They were helpful. I worked 2 weeks in the Male Surgical ward, then after that, I changed to Female Medical Ward for 3 weeks. The knowledge I got from working in the Male Surgical helped me not to be awkward in the second ward. Although, the medical ward felt a bit different from the surgical ward.

I get to do lot more work in the medical ward while in the surgical ward, I mostly became a ‘drip stand’ all the time. There were less things to do there besides standing. -sigh-

I get to see a patient I am a bit close to, got better, discharged from the warf, and even died in the medical ward, which is really sad.

I also get to see how doctors do their jobs,how cool is that?! I get to work with the HO,MO and other Staff Nurses. And it got me thinking, “Wow, this is what I get to do for a living? Those daydreams, the things I watched on TV, now I get to do it in real life” and I literally got goosebumps realizing that. #tearsofhappiness

Well, I guess that’s all I have to say for now. See you in my next entry!πŸ’•

Posted in Entries

A brand new journey |OTW TO ILKKM SANDAKAN

I’m back with another entry. I will share here my experience in preparation for my ‘Lapor Diri’ day for ILKKM Sandakan.

Unfortunately for the future generations, kami punya batch ni kali ialah batch yang terakhir menerima biasiswa dan bantuan2 dari kerajaan dalam tempoh pengajian kami dan beberapa kolej tajaan KKM juga akan ditutup. Sad πŸ˜– So, batch kami ni dikira bertuah lah and yeah, I am forever thankful to God that I was able to have this opportunity.

Surat tawaran dari KKM saya terima pada 12 hb Jun 2018 melalui laman web. Di sana juga saya dapat tahu mana kolej saya iaitu ILKKM Sandakan. Dalam hati lepas nampak nama kolej, “amaaa hujung dunia”πŸ˜‚ but saya bersyukur juga sebab masih di Sabah lah.

Dalam laman web itu juga, saya akhirnya boleh download semua dokumen2 yang perlu saya siapkan, termasuk medical checkup saya. Nasip baik awal2 saya sudah urus tu medical checkup lah. Because the Urine for drug test punya result lama mau ditunggu, dalam masa 2 minggu gitu. The Hepatitis B and C and HIV saya buat di klinik swasta and it only took 3 days for the result to come out, but I had to pay RM 80 for it tho πŸ’ΈπŸ’ΈπŸ’Έ

During this time, saya stay di Taman Indah Permai with my cousin sebab saya tolong babysit dia punya anak2 sebab emergency suda tiada babysitter. But, I am thankful to my cousin because dia yang tolong2 saya semua. And she helped me A LOT.

Right after we knew my college, my cousin terus2 book flight kapal untuk saya. I didn’t even asked for it,and she did it willingly.

The first thing saya urus ialah, Medical Checkup saya. Saya print itu pengumuman keputusan temuduga sebagai bukti. Saya buat Med Check-up di sana Klinik Kesihatan Luyang. After that, I had to wait 2 weeks for the urine for drugs.

After that, saya urus tu surat Akuan Sumpah. Ini mau pigi jumpa pesuruhjaya sumpah di mahkamah sebab mau minta sign dia. Sekijap ja. Lepas tu, sya pigi di JPN pigi urus sya punya sijil lahir sebab sia kasi hilang kan. πŸ˜‚ Tunggu 2 jam ja, lepas tu dapat sijil lahir baru. Lepas tu sya pigi Pejabat Pos, beli tu stem hasil 5 keping sebab tu borang perjanjian ada 5 salinan. Stem Hasil harga dia RM 10, so sia bayar RM 50 la πŸ’ΈπŸ’Έ

Lepas tu, mau urus tu borang perjanjian lagi. My cousin pun tolong juga saya dalam part ni. Cousin sya jadi Penjamin1 saya, and her husband jadi Penjamin2 saya and Saksi, dia punya ipar. Senang sikit kerja sia sebab tidak payah susah2 pigi cari urang lagi untuk penjamin and saksi.

Memang bank duit melayang la sepanjang mengurus ni benda2 semua terutama mau naik Grab Car sebab mau pigi tempat2. Tambang Grab Car lagi, bukan alang2 tu, sia bulih pulang balik dari KK pigi Tambunan 6 kali guna anser suda guna tu tambang grab sia kalau kasi tambah2 semuaπŸ’ΈπŸ’ΈπŸ’ΈπŸ™ƒπŸ’ΈπŸ™ƒπŸ’ΈπŸ™ƒ

Sia beli lagi semua barang2 keperluan saya untuk di Sandakan. Banyaknya mau dibuat.


Okeh, nnti sambung lagi entry. Chow!πŸ‘‹

Posted in Entries

‘Dreams do come true’

My wait finally ended.

All my hard work were paid off.

All my prayers were answered.

I almost couldn’t believe that this actually happened. I had to pinch myself many times. I am so damn HAPPY!

After waiting for two years, I finally got accepted for the Latihan Separa Perubatan for Nursing. 😭

My journey for two years of waiting was not easy at all. But I kept my faith until it is finally answered. I thank God for this and I don’t think I can thank Him enough for this. 😭 Those two years of waiting was full of hard work, heartbreak, disappointment, sweat and tears. But I am lucky to have the love of my life, Richmond, who believed in me and support me mentally and emotionally. And also, my parents for believing in me.

This will be the most glorious thing that has ever happened to me in my life. A whole new journey in my life is about to start, and I will always pray to God for His guidance and blessings.

“Just because you’re late doesn’t mean you failed”
I held on to this words for almost two years until this very moment. And I just can’t believe my faith was answered.😭😭😭

I can proudly smile and say to myself now that “dreams do come true”.πŸ’–πŸ’–

Posted in Entries, LIFE

Best decision of my life |Quiting the job I hate

I am not proud to say that I used to work in retail as a cashier. Its not really a fun thing to do, if I had to say. Standing all day, handling items from frozen ice cold food, meats, groceries, home appliances to home furnitures. If you do that all day, its tiring man.

Plus, all the shitty customer you have to face. I’m not being racist or anything right now, but most of our customers that went shopping there is chinese, so I learnt that chinese from that area are mostly retarded spoiled brats bitches. Their complaints for the prices like, pfft, did i made them? Why human? What do they even expect us to do? Change it?

Its not just for that reason why I quit my job at ***** citymall, its also because the Supervisors and the Bosses,the people who have higher job status in the company than me. Their professionalism in doing their job is wayyyy out of the league. I have no idea why the upperclassmen have to be that way. Its not a very good role model to be a leader. They’re more like a pain in the ass ‘boss’.

Imagine this people, as a cashier, my work shifts was usually Afternoon shif or Full day shift. I can still tolerate an afternoon shift, cause I can rest till 12 PM and went to work at 2 PM. But for Full Day shift, which I get a lot, is killing people,mentally and physically. Waking up as early as 6 AM and wait for the bus at 7 AM and finished work at 11 PM. Where’s the life at?πŸ˜‚ I rarely get a Morning shift which really suck. This shitty working schedule also planned by the one and only shitty Chief Cashier *****. I really really hate her. Like for the first time ever in my life, I met someone so hypocritical, have so many things to complain even a small little mistake. She didn’t even help us to become better if she saw our mistake, instead she criticize us like its the biggest mistake she ever see. What kind of leader is that? It’s like, everyone she meet, who worked with her, she made them hate her. Oh, she had lots of gossip about how all the past cashier quit because of her shitty attitude. She even went viral on Facebook one day because of her shitty way of treating a customer.

My working environment was so shitty I decided to quit and it was one of the best decision I ever made.

Conclusion, if you want to work as a cashier or in retail, you gotta have a heart of steel to deal with crazy customers and fit body to handle all the groceries. Joking! πŸ˜‚ Y’all just gotta be ready for all the challenges.

Heres some memes for ya that describe my old job perfectly.

Posted in Entries, LIFE TIPS

Maxis CRT Subscription | Bagaimana Cancel

Okay, pada suatu hari, saya terima SMS seperti ini ;

RM0. CRT DIY Package will be renewed on 09/05/2018 at RM3 (Excl. GST). To unsubscribe, dial *131# > Manage CRT or visit

And then today I got this message;

RM0. CRT DIY Package renewed. Next renewal 09/06/2018. Dial *131# or visit to manage or check out the latest song list.

My RM3 was gone! Of course,saya terkejut lah sebab tidak pernah pun saya langgan apa2. So I tried dailing *131# and tried cancelling the subscription,but, there were none there! Didn’t work at all.

So I searched some tips from uncle Google and found the right and easiest way.

Hanya call the customer service at 123.

Of course you’re gonna have to engage some conversation but it will be quick, don’t worry. I tried it, and the staff even gave me my RM 3 refund.

So, kamurang bole lah cuba ni ya? Senang jerr.

Kamu akan dapat SMS camni setelah selesai cancellation.

RM0. You have deleted CRT DIY Package MyPick 23.

Posted in Entries, LIFE, MEMORIES


Once again after waiting for almost 2 years, I finally got called from SPA to attend another interview for LATIHAN  SEPARA PERUBATAN. Of course, I was very, much thankful to God for giving me the chance to prove myself again.

So my second interview was at Cawangan SPA, Komplex Pentadbiran Kerajaan Persekutuan Likas, Kota Kinabalu. My first interview was at Keningau which obviously I failed miserably at.

The job I interviewed this time was: Penolong Pegawai Perubatan & Jururawat.

I came to KK one day early cause I don’t want to repeat my old mistake again which was being late to the interview.

Fast forward to the big day, the date was 27th of April. I came to the place as early as 6 something AM together with my parents, my lil sis, Kimi and our uncle’s relative, Alang. Alang drove us to the place, so I pretty much owe him A LOT.

I got there but the SPA office hasn’t opened yet, so we wait until around 7.30 AM, the worker called upon all of us candidates who already arrived to come inside. I got into the office and into the interview room. Chairs were already arranged and there were six interview room. They asked us to tick our name on the paper. There were many of us filled the chair inside the waiting room. While waiting for our names to be called, I was already damn nervous. Every time I read the job descriptions I got very frightened so I had to stop and just let myself to stay calm. 

So fast forward, I got my number, 2006 (which was the sixth turn), interview room number 2 (Kapalai Room) (Weird name I know -..-β€˜β€™) 
Around 9, it was finally my turn.  I took a deep breath and put a smile on my face, knocked the door 4 times, and entered the room.

There were two people, a woman and a man. My correct guess, the man was the Assistant Medical Officer (Penolong Pegawai Perubatan) and the woman was the SPA Officer. I walked to the desk and held out my hand to shake their hand. I greet them with a good morning and my best smile and hand them my file and resume.
(warning, I will mix up English language and my mother tongue language at this point)

SPA:  Silakan duduk.

Me: Terima kasih (and slowly back up and sat on the chair) Saya tengok muka tu pekerja SPA senyum saja lepas dia baca resume saya. Trus dia cakap,

SPA: Nur Ezza. 21 Tahun. Mau panggil apa ni? Nur? Ezza  ?

ME: *senyum * Ezza saja.

SPA: Okey, cik Ezza. Boleh ceritakan serba sedikit pasal diri anda?  ( I was a bit stunned cause in my first interview, they didn’t asked me to introduce myself *cry*) 

ME: Nama saya Nur Ezza Tom. Berumur 21 tahun. Berasal dari Kampung Sunsuron Tambunan. Dulu saya bersekolah di SMK Tambunan dan mengambil SPM dengan keputusan 4A, 3B dan 3C. ( tu pekerja SPA angguk2 saja sambil senyum2 tengok tu resume saya)
Semasa sekolah menengah, saya aktif dalam kelab persatuan pusat sumber, saya juga merupakan Pengawas Pusat Sumber, bla bla bla bla (here I talked about my cocuricular activities I joined in high school)

SPA: Anak ke berapa ni dalam adik beradik?

ME: (dalam hati β€˜oh shit, saya lupa kasi tau’) Saya anak pertama dalam 7 adik beradik.

SPA: Ooh anak sulung laa.

ME: *Angguk2 senyum2* Ya.

SPA: Kenapa pilih Penolong Pegawai Perubatan sebagai pilihan prtama dan bukan Jururawat? Tidak minat kah sama jururawat ni?

ME: *dengan bangga* Oh tidaklah. Saya sebenarnya minat dua-dua tu jawatan, tapi letak PPP sebagai pilihan pertama.

SPA:*senyum* Oh.. jadi kalau contohnya dapat Jururawat tidak kesah lah? Mau juga?

ME: (dalam hati teriak YAAAA ) *Calmly said* Ya, saya terima juga tu.

SPA: Okey.. Nur Ezza, saya mau tanya, kau tau ka tu apa tu TN50?

ME: *Tekejut tahap babi* (astagaa apaitu?? Matilah siaa takkan sia mau cakap tida tau??) Emm, apa tu aa? (pura2 ingat) Sebenarnya saya pernah sekilas pandah di internet tapi saya tiada tebaca. (kunun punya jawapan menipu berabisss)

SPA: Ok, cuba ko kasi tau apa tu?

ME: (finally give in) Saya tidak pasti oo.

SPA: Golongan apa yang terlibat dalam ni TN50 ni?

ME: (Bantaiii laaa) Warga emas? ( Aduii menjawap ka menanya ni?)

SPA: *bagi pandangan tidak setuju* Aih manada warga emas 50 tahun.

ME: Oh, adolecense (nahhh keluar ingiliss) golongan remaja.

SPA: Haa... golongan Adults, remaja. Nanti ko balik kau baca pasal itu ya.

ME: Ok ok. Hehe 

SPA: Okey, apa yang kau faham pasal Integriti?

ME: (Yesss sa tauuu ni apa *saya happy sebab saya ada study ni benda*) Integriti ialah sikap mulia seseorang seperti amanah dalam menjalankan tugas agar dapat kepercayaan dari masyarakat setempat kepada penjawat tersebut. 
(Sya tau tapi ayat bertabur)

SPA: Apakah antara sikap2 mulia integriti yang harus ada dalam diri seseorang penjawat awam?

ME: (masa ni saya tiba2 blur tapi berabis mengingat juga jawapan) Bagi saya, sikap mulia yang harus ada dalam seseorang penjawat awam ialah, amanah..dan...*Pause* Jujur dan Iklas mejalankan tugas.

SPA: Okey.. tadi datang sini jam berapa?

ME: Jam 6 hehe

SPA: Kalau begitu apa nilai murni dia?

ME: Menepati masa.

SPA: Yaa... menepati masa ya. Seorang penjawat awam mesti menepati masa bekerja. Integriti ni mesti diamalkan oleh penjawat awam saja ka? Ya atau tidak?

ME: *dengan yakin walaupun tidak berapa pasti* Tidak (geleng2 kepala) Integriti ni mesti untuk semua  penjawat..pekerja. (saya buat hand motion lagi)

SPA: Betul. Nilai integriti harus diamalkan oleh semua ya, samada penjawat awam atau pun swasta. Ok itu saja dari saya.
( Trus dia tingu tu MA sebelah dia.)

Sepanjang masa saya bercakap tu memang saya ketara nervous lah, saya fidgeting my fingers but saya pandai cepat2 juga stop sebab saya perasan itu M.A tengok semua body language saya. And saya pun mata pandai tetutup masa mengingat jawapan. Which was soo damn obvious sa nervous.  *cry*

MA: Nur Ezza.
ME: Ya..
MA: Boleh kau ceritakan apa beza klinik 1 Malaysia dengan Hospital?

ME: (oh shit, soalan yang sya study 2 taun lalu tapi tida study ni kali.. aduiii) *So sini saya jawap guna general knowledge saya and cuba ingat2 apa yang saya baca duluu..  Muka tu MA pun serious ja dngr jawapan saya tapi ada juga dia tesenyum2 sikit mungkin merepek jawapan sya kan*

MA: Okey... Apa kau faham tentang kencing manis? 

ME: (ni kalilah sia mau nangis, ni soalan pun say tiada revision. Ada la 2 taun yang lalu. Jadi di sini pun saya punya jawapan main goreng ja.)

MA: Okey.. Apa kesan-kesan kencing manis.

ME: (Nahhh  berabis saya mengingat jawapan. Saya terdiam juga seketika.) Emm,kesan kencing manis ialah penyakit jantung.

(trus tu MA tekatawa sikit ni!! Matilah katak. Memang bodoh tu jawapan saya ,sedar juga saya. And then you know what else I said?) 

Em.. kalau ada luka, dia akan lambat sembuh,jadi kalau tu luka kena jangkitan, dia x pandai sembuh2 sudah, terpaksa potong tu anggota yang kena jangkitan. (saya cakap sambil membuat aksi memotong tangan sendiri wakakakakaka)

Tu MA angguk2 kepala ja.

SPA: Okay itu saja dari kami. Cik Nur Ezza, ada apa-apa soalan untuk kami?

Saya diam sekijap sebab macam tidak puas hati saya ni interview. Then saya teingat ni soalan dalam fikiran saya.

ME: Saya mau tanya pasal ni tugas MA. Ada saya tebaca, pemulihan, Eh bukan MA, Jururawat *Saya mixed up suda jawatan* Ada saya tebaca,Pemulihan anggota dengan cara sejuk air. Saya tidak berapa faham macam mana ni. 

SPA: Ooh.. sebenarnya sejuk air ni bukan dijalankan oleh Jururawat (Saya tekejut sekijap)  dia dijalankan oleh seorang fisioterapi. *di sini dia explain explain explain and the MA pun masuk juga mau explain ni benda. Saya angguk2 and pura2 faham saja* 
(Then she said) Nanti kau tanya lah kawan kawan kau yang fisio nanti, ko study macam mana. Okey?

ME: Ok ok. Terima kasih.

SPA: Okey Terima Kasih ya..

So I walked to the desk and took my file and thank them the last time and walked out from the room.

I was feeling so mixed up, I felt stupid for giving stupid answers, I felt like I want to talk more and also felt like IDGAF anymore this has  passed like that. Noticed that most of the things that I tried to remember by heart like the job description, the minister's names and all were not even asked. *Fed up*

But at the end of the day, I thank God for that oppurtunity. I pray and hope that I will really get it this time. 
Posted in Entries

My Destructive Personality

“Nobody’s perfect”

Yes, that statement is true. I know I’m not perfect. I don’t have a perfect body, I don’t have a perfect mind, I don’t have the perfect life, and I don’t have a perfect personality. 

One of my destructive personality I have is my emotional roller coaster during PMS. I get mad over slight thing I find annoying. And when I get mad, it shows crystal clear. It will be written all over my face.
The crease between my brows, my silent treatments, my yelling, my rebelliousness by locking myself inside my room and my way for comfort through food. My family knows exactly how I am when I’m mad. Well yeah, because they’re the only people who have to spend the rest of their lives with me. 

That traits get worse especially during PMS. I just realized that I may have a serious Pre Mestrual Syndrome problem. Thanks to an article I read online. I find it very hard to control my irritation towards someone. Then it will lead to a silent treatment while I suffer myself through it.

I know that lack of communication ruins lot of good things. But I just can’t control myself. And I don’t know how to fix it. Maybe I do know, I just need the comfort of touch from the people I love. But right now? It’s kind of hard for me to find that. 


(Long distance relationship is a lot of challenge.)

It’s kind of incredible how my boyfriend got to handle me every month like that and he still stay. I don’t know whether I am that lucky or he just love me too much to leave meπŸ˜‚ 

Thanks for tolerating me boyfriendπŸ˜—