Posted in Entries, LIFE, LOVE

#JustWriteIt 3 | He cried in front of me

[7/2/18]

Me again! How long have I been gone? I really really miss writing 😭

What I want to write about today is the things that happened between me and my long-distance relationship boyfriend during our video call session last night. So, last night around 12 quarter, we started our video call session and we talked a bit at first. I was in a foul mood cause my emotions were torturing me. Plus I was still in my period and I was missing him like crazy yesterday. I missed him so much that I just cried during our video calling.

I took some time crying, while he kept comforting me. After I calmed down, we proceed to pray together as usual. We have been praying together at night during video call for about two months already. It has been our daily routine even though sometimes we couldn’t do it when we had other stuff going on or one of us fell asleep early.

After praying, I got sleepy, so I laid down on the bed while still video calling. So my boyfriend likes watching me when I sleep, the last night, he said this to me “I love you, I love you so much” and suddenly I saw his eyes got watery and his nose running. HE CRIED! I was like, 😯 and then I laughed. I couldn’t help but laugh. And whats funnier was, he got mad because he cried and I saw him. He was like, “Tidur kau!” “Teruk” 😂

It was actually the very first time I saw him vulnerable like that. And it’s funny how he tried to be angry at me because I laughed. I wished I could hug him that moment, but unfortunately, both of us are far away from each other. 😭

The long-distance relationship really is a tough journey for couples. Both have to like, fight and take efforts. If both don’t take any effort to make the long-distance relationship to work out, it will surely won’t last long. And yes, there will be loneliness, crave for their physical being, tears and fights. But, a long-distance relationship has something special where a normal couple doesn’t have. We have the emotional love we share even when we don’t see each other every day. Distance gave us the reason to love harder, right?

That’s all for now.

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Posted in Entries

My Destructive Personality

“Nobody’s perfect”

Yes, that statement is true. I know I’m not perfect. I don’t have a perfect body, I don’t have a perfect mind, I don’t have the perfect life, and I don’t have a perfect personality. 

One of my destructive personality I have is my emotional roller coaster during PMS. I get mad over slight thing I find annoying. And when I get mad, it shows crystal clear. It will be written all over my face.
The crease between my brows, my silent treatments, my yelling, my rebelliousness by locking myself inside my room and my way for comfort through food. My family knows exactly how I am when I’m mad. Well yeah, because they’re the only people who have to spend the rest of their lives with me. 

That traits get worse especially during PMS. I just realized that I may have a serious Pre Mestrual Syndrome problem. Thanks to an article I read online. I find it very hard to control my irritation towards someone. Then it will lead to a silent treatment while I suffer myself through it.
-sigh-😔

I know that lack of communication ruins lot of good things. But I just can’t control myself. And I don’t know how to fix it. Maybe I do know, I just need the comfort of touch from the people I love. But right now? It’s kind of hard for me to find that. 

Poop. 
-..- 

(Long distance relationship is a lot of challenge.)

It’s kind of incredible how my boyfriend got to handle me every month like that and he still stay. I don’t know whether I am that lucky or he just love me too much to leave me😂 

Thanks for tolerating me boyfriend😗

Posted in Entries, LIFE

JustWriteIt #2 | The Bond of a Childhood Best Friends

I have been best friends with Lisa since we were 10 years old. We were inseperable back then. The lucky thing during our primary school was,  we were in the same class until we finished our primary schooling. 

When we reached middle school and high school,  we got into a different class from each other but we were still close.  Our bond as close friends never fade out.  Even though we met new people, made new memories without each other,  in the end,  we still need each other.

Our friendship got closer when we went into the same college together, Labuan Matriculation College. I truly am thankful to her that she was always there for me during my ugliest and happiest time.  She helped me when I needed her,  and I helped her when she needed it.  Especially when we are dealing with our studies.  

Life in LMC was always a challenge. Its sweat and tears, smile and cries,  all mixed together.  I am amazed that I actually got through it alive.  It was a year of hardwork. 

Actually,  Lisa and I had a different course in college,  I got the intensive one which was the PST (PROGRAM SATU TAHUN)  , a one year programme, while Lisa got the PDT (PROGRAM DUA TAHUN), atwo year programme . So, when I graduated, she still got a year before graduating. After I graduated, Lisa and I rarely talks anymore because we were busy with our own lives.

Recently. . . Well actually today, we had our conversation through Whatsapp for the first time after a long time. And I had to be honest, we still talked like we always do. And it made me misses her even more than ever. We are 20 years old now,  so we had been friends for over 10 year now,  and I know our friendship will last until the end. 

Friends in my life always come and go, but one thing certain, Lisa and I will always be best friends. We just haven’t got the time to be together and spend time with each other again because life happens you know. I really hope that we will be friends forever. 🙂 I can’t possibly let her go,  she knows too much of my secret already. 😂😂😂

#dedicated to Lisa

Posted in Entries, LOVE, MEMORIES

JustWriteIt #1

Right now, I’m on my writer’s mood so, I’m just gonna write whats on my mind in this particular moment.

I MISS YOU RICHMOND! YA HEAR ME?! Why do you have to be so far away from me… 😦 😦 😦

We’ve been together for over seven months now and I appreciate every kind of love I received from him. And I couldn’t believe we had made it this far especially when we’re in a long distance relationship most of the time.

Speaking of LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP, let me tell you this people. It is definitely not easy, nu-uh! People who are in one now, will definitely understand what I am feeling right now.

There will be those days that you really, realllyyyy crave for their physical touch and beings. And there will be those days where you just want all of their attention on you all day, but of course, you can’t have it because, you’re being that ‘understanding girlfriend who doesn’t want to bother their boyfriend because you know they’re busy’. So, you have no other choice than entertaining yourself by laughing at memes. (I’m talking about me btw) But I believe that as long as both of you try, I know it will work out. 🙂

From what I learned being in a long distance relationship is, you don’t need to see that person everyday in order to fall in love with them. You can stay in love while holding on to the memories you had created while you were together. And that memories become so precious that it will be one of the thing that keeps you holding on to your relationship.

You count every day and every month until you finally be able to meet them again. Sometimes, they become the one who can make you happy even when you’re miles away from each other, not the people beside you.

I pray that this relationship we’re in will not fail. I know we can get through this together until we will finally be together again.

Posted in Entries

Why?

When you prayed so hard for something you really want to God but you ended up not getting what you want.. The question lingered inside your mind,  “Why?”

I was hurt, disappointed and just wanted to scream at God.. But I know I was just being emotional.. In the end I still turned to Him and asked for strength to accept His plan for me..

Truly I haven’t felt that kind of disappointment and heartbreak in a long time. When I didn’t get what I want especially you already worked really hard for it. It’s just so unfair and you just want to rant about  it. But the truth is,  I can’t.  Because I still believe in His plan for me.

Moving on is the only thing I have to do now and try again later..

But most of the time, I would sit alone in my room and everything will come back to me again. I will sit there and feel sorry for myself. Remembering the heartbreak I felt. But I can’t do anything about it now. I just have to move on and woman up about it.

Posted in Entries, family, LIFE, MEMORIES, MOTIVATIONAL

Hiking Gunung Wakid | Pengalaman Mendaki Gunung Wakid

Heyy lovely person who managed to find this blog 😉 – wink wink-

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View of Kampung Sunsuron from the top 1st hill of Gunung Wakid

Gunung Wakid is situated in Kampung Sunsuron Tambunan and is currently popular amongst hikers and tourist.

On 31st August 2k16, my cousins (Eyoy@Daeryll, Daneo, Moses and Shawn), my brother Kodom@ Clarence and I went to the journey to climb the Gunung Wakid. Shawn who acted as our personal guide to lead us until we reached the top of the first hill of Gunung Wakid.

We departed from our home at 8 am something and reached the hill around 11am something. 😆

As for me, it was my first time ever to climb the hill even though I am the local for almost 19 years. To tell you the truth, it was a hell of a challenge! I tried giving up multiple times along the way. But I pushed myself to my limit until, taadaaa! I reached the top! I was so proud of myself. Even though it’s just Gunung Wakid, but I managed to fight until I reached the top.

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To tell you guys, hiking is no joke. It takes strong will and stamina in order to finish it.

So, here’s some pictures I took along our journey..

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“Reaching a goal in life is just like climbing a mountain, there will be plenty of struggle, sweat, tears, and pain. But after all those things we’ve been through, we will feel accomplished and relieved, just like the incredible feeling we get after reaching the mountain top. -N. Ezza Tom@Bibi- 4th November”

Posted in Entries, family, MEMORIES

All Soul’s Day

All Souls’ Day commemorates the faithful departed. In Western Christianity, this day is observed principally in the Catholic Church, although some churches of the Anglican Communion and the Old Catholic Churches also celebrate it. The Eastern Orthodox churches observe several All Souls’ Days during the year. The Roman Catholic celebration is associated with the doctrine that the souls of the faithful who at death have not been cleansed from the temporal punishment due to venial sins and from attachment to mortal sins cannot immediately attain the beatific vision in heaven, and that they may be helped to do so by prayer and by the sacrifice of the Mass (see Purgatory). In other words, when they died, they had not yet attained full sanctification and moral perfection, a requirement for entrance into Heaven. This sanctification is carried out posthumously in Purgatory.
The official name of the celebration in the Roman Rite liturgy of the Roman Catholic Church is ” The Commemoration of All the Faithful Departed “Read More Here.

This evening, I went to the graveyard together with some family members to light up candles. I was looking forward to this the whole day, probably cause I really want to do this annual thing.

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So we lit many candles on my grandparents’ grave and our great grandmother’s grave and some of our cousins’ grave.

Trully, it was a beautiful sight as thousands of candles were lit that time.

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#Blessed All Soul’s Day
#2NOV2016